After he denied that he used the app, Wilson told him she had “ways to find out” that his profile was active. Wilson found out through Swipebuster that her boyfriend had logged on to Tinder the same morning she did the search. “They find things their partner would not ’fess up to, and my job is to help them process what happened.” “Often, their snooping has a payout,” she says.
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Sex therapist Jennine Estes doesn’t judge clients who have resorted to spyware.
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Any therapist or good friend will tell you it’s better to talk to your partner in person than install an app that tracks their location, but if the answer to “are you cheating on me?” is “no”, it can be tough to accept the denial and move on. They snoop to get tangible proof their suspicions. These technologies can provide closure to a suspicious partner, but they can also stoke paranoia and exacerbate the very trust issues they seek to fix.Ĭouples do not snoop on one another because they are unethical monsters. Photograph: Diego Lopez/EPAĪnd then there’s the flat-out weird, such as smoke detector hidden cameras and mattresses with motion sensors that expose questionable activity. The Smarttress mattress is the world’s first smart mattress, said to be able to detect infidelity in couples by means of a mobile app. On the more ethical side are apps such as Couple Tracker and mCouple that allow partners to consensually access each other’s texts, calls, Facebook activity and GPS location. They range from websites that scrape public data (perfectly legal) to spyware such as FlexiSPY and mSpy that, once covertly installed, enable remote surveillance of a person’s phone (not so legal). But it’s also easier than ever to catch a cheating partner with a vast selection of websites, apps and spyware that can monitor their mobile footprints.Ĭlandestine services, such as Swipebuster, that allow jealous lovers to track someone’s activity without their knowledge are the most controversial. Apps like Tinder, Bumble and Grindr present a never-ending rolodex of hookups-to-be, while messaging services store illicit dinner plans in password-protected phones. Technology has made it easier than ever to be unfaithful. Wilson is not normally the jealous type, but she had a “gut feeling” that something was wrong.
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A co-worker mentioned Swipebuster, a new website that scans Tinder’s public database and reveals whether someone has a profile and the last time they used it for the low price of $4.99. But Wilson didn’t believe him.Ī few days later, Wilson went in to work at a credit union in St Louis and confessed to colleagues that she thought her boyfriend might be cheating on her. He claimed Tinder had transferred automatically from his old device, that he liked to swipe through her profile pictures and read their old messages.
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They’d met on the dating app seven months earlier and he’d promised that he wouldn’t download it on his new phone. A few weekends ago, Chelsie Wilson spotted Tinder on her boyfriend’s phone.